Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
