Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
