Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
