I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
