I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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