good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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