Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
