Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
