"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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