worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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