Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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