I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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