whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize