Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
