Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
