Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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