Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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