shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also, beer. Big fan.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
