how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
