We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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