definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
