she takes plan B like it's going out of style
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
