Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
