Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
