the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
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Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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