yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
