I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
