so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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