this beer tastes like vomit already
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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