He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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