I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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