I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
