I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
