I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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