need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Green mimosas i think yes
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
