Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
