I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
4 words: hood of his car
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
