Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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