Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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