got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize