I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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