So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
