I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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