ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
