normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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