Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
