I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
