Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
