I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
