dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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