sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
