Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
