apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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