Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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