And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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