I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
