Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
