id be glad to
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
