I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
