It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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