never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
