So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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