just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
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So squirting runs in the family.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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