i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
