we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
