I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
