is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
