if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
