That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
